Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
