My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
