I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
