omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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