what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize