honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
