I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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