remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
