Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
