Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
