ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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