I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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