just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think my fart just growled at me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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