i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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