theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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