We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
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