i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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