Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
