I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
