Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize