Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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