I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
