Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
