Plan B is the new Plan A
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
did you just send me my own nude
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
