we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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