Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
