just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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