i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
