she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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