Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
