my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
