I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What a dumb baby whore.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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