Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
