I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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