So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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