Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Come see our sink grown plant.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
