So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
