I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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