He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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