He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
