thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
