when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
