I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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