I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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