I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
