i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
