oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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