I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
