I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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