Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
