Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
