We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
