woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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