Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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