How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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