my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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