Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
