Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
