So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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