She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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