Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
