It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I'm really busy with my period
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
