so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
